Silent survivors.

I always knew that sexual abuse existed, preying on girls and boys of all ages, a predator that along with physically, mentally and emotionally hurting its victims, silenced them into carrying the burden of a secret that keeps them in a spiral of shame for years at end; a shame that never belonged to them to begin with.

Five years ago, I started learning about the complexity of sexual abuse as many of my clients shared stories of being abused as children, teenagers or adults by family members, teachers and trusted friends, and the most common theme that ran was how it was in therapy that they shared it for the first time.

It would take session after session as they would share what happened, overwhelmed with grief and exhaustion of carrying the pain and most importantly, the shame of not being able to tell anyone. They believed that their silence meant they were party to this heinous act and as a therapist, I tried my best to reassure the adult sitting in front of me that it was the abused child within them who was silenced into fear and submission. I tried my best to comfort that child who is so convinced that he or she made it happen.

For healing to begin, thats where my work started. Peeling away layers after layers of shame that they inherited, unpacking their memories so they can remember how they were threatened into silence, how they waited for their parents to notice why suddenly they are losing their appetite and are withdrawn, hoping for someone to check on them as they sit alone with a Qaari saab or tuition teacher. Thats the beginning of healing as they start remembering the anguish, the fear of wanting to share what was going on but could not. They suffer from chronic symptoms that include anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.

I choose to write about this as a day before I read about how a teacher who ran the Model United Circuit (MUN) in Lahore at the esteemed Lahore Grammar School is allegedly involved in sexually harassment of A Level students for years to end. Some of the students have come forward with sharing texts sent out by this teacher and protesting and expressing how in spite of sharing this with the school administration, no action was taken until now, where the principal has expelled the alleged perpetrators. Simply expelled, claiming they have nothing to do with...