Being friends with your child will not hurt.

Byline: mariah suleman

ISLAMABAD -- I am a full time working mother with a lunch break that can either be used eating or picking the kids up from school. I have to squeeze in both chores, and ensure I am home when my children come at home time. I want them to feel that if they have anything to share, their mummy is right there and they do not have to wait till late in the evening to talk about their day. When we sit down for lunch, I can immediately tell if my son had a rough day.

As mothers, we can all gauge their moods. His stressed little face breaks my heart, and for years, my first instinct has been to try to make it better. If my son tells me that his two best friends did not sit with him during reading time, I tell him it must be a coincidence, they love you so much that they cannot resist being away for too long; it will all be good tomorrow. Did not do well in your number work assessment? It is okay, you would figure it out because you are so smart.

But now, over time, I have realised what the boy really wants is for me to just listen and be there. We take undue responsibility for our children's mood and spirit and as a result, it feels like it is our job to reset as soon as possible.

This over- protective nature of ours deprives them of experiencing skinned knees and it prevents them from being self-reliant.

They are your kids but please do not make it a hobby to control each and every aspect of their lives. Let them fail and make mistakes and then learn from them. Sometimes they are just upset because home is the soft landing, it is the place they feel comfortable enough to vent.

After a long day of following all the strict rules, being polite to all the teachers, all they need is a break and that is what you get to witness at home - exhaustion. At this point, we should acknowledge that it is not easy talking about your day. How do we feel if we have to talk about our day at work? I know I do not want to get into the details ever and I just mumbled 'hmm, good.' So what to do to let them express? I try and practice reflective listening, which includes showing empathy towards your children. For instance, my son comes home and is frustrated after a tough day. I would say, 'Bubz, it sounds like...

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