ADVICE AUNTIE AGNI.

Dear Auntie,

I am a man in my 50s, and have been married for 25 years, with teenage children now. I have been living and working outside Pakistan in a well-paid job for the last four years while my wife and the children live in Pakistan, as the children are enrolled in university.

The decision to move away from the family for the job was a difficult one, but taken after a lot of deliberation. I had held down a decent job in Pakistan for over a decade, but was increasingly weighed down by the workload, long hours and the office politics. I felt the need to move as I was feeling burnt out in that job.

Also, there were issues at home. Increasingly, I felt that our domestic life had become unhappy, with almost daily squabbling and arguments. The main issue was that my wife felt that I was not giving enough time to her and the children and also that I did not love her.

'Should I leave my job abroad and move back to my family?'

I agree. My job demanded long hours. My personality coupled with sheer exhaustion made me emotionally drained and distant, though I continued to look after and care for my family.

I failed to get a job in Pakistan. So I moved overseas after a lot of deliberation and discussion without my wife and children.

Since then, I have been torn. My wife and I feel lonely. Both of us have felt depressed at times and have difficulty sleeping.

On the other hand, we are now more connected emotionally. We talk daily, exchange jokes, even romantic poetry. When I visit home on vacation, it goes well for a week or so, but then conflicts and arguments start to creep in. And when I leave, I am both sad and relieved.

Should I continue this long distance arrangement or should I move back with the family, given I won't earn half as much in Pakistan?

In-A-Dilemma.

Dear In-A-Dilemma,

Did you move abroad for financial reasons or did you do it to get away from your job in Pakistan and your family issues? This is important because, if the reason for leaving the country was the latter then we have a problem. If you went abroad for a...

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